Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Forgive

Found this, so apropos...

for·give
fərˈgiv/

verb
verb: forgive; 3rd person present: forgives; past tense: forgave; gerund or present participle: forgiving; past participle: forgiven
  1. 1.
    stop feeling angry or resentful toward (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake.
    "I don't think I'll ever forgive David for the way he treated her"
    synonyms:pardonexcuseexonerateabsolve;
    make allowances for, feel no resentment toward, feel no malice toward, harbor no grudge against, bury the hatchet with; 
    let bygones be bygones; 
    informallet off (the hook);
    formalexculpate
    "she would not forgive him"
    antonyms:blameresent
    • stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for (an offense, flaw, or mistake).
      "they are not going to pat my head and say all is forgiven"
    • cancel (a debt).
      "he proposed that their debts should be forgiven"
    • used in polite expressions as a request to excuse or regard indulgently one's foibles, ignorance, or impoliteness.
      "you will have to forgive my suspicious mind"
      synonyms:excuseoverlookdisregardignore, pass over, make allowances for, allowMore
      antonyms:punish

One must forgive to heal and move on.
Goodbye 2013 - Hello 2014
Happy New Year
Happy New Me

Monday, December 30, 2013

A$$hole

ass·hole 

  [as-hohl]  Show IPA
noun Vulgar.


1.
2.
Slang.
a.
a stupid, meanor contemptible person.
b.
the worst part of a place or thing.
adjective
3.
Slang. stupid, mean, or contemptible.



Sunday, December 29, 2013

Doormat

From dictionary.com... the word of the day is...

door·mat

  [dawr-mat, dohr-]  Show IPA



noun
1.
a matusually placed before a door or other entrance, for people arriving to wipe their shoes onbefore entering.
2.
a person who is the habitual object of abuse or humiliation by another.



Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Merry Christmas 2013

Wishing you the joys of the Christmas season!


Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Down in the Dumps...

I am, I simply am.

I went to see my youngest this evening.
He's back in jail.
He was doing so well too.

He goes in front of the judge tomorrow morning.
He could be taken off Drug Court and sent upstate.
For seven and a half years!

Honestly, I am devastated.
Living in a halfway house, he was accused of flushing dope down the toilet by four others
He says he didn't do it, but he took the blame for it.

This landed him back in jail.

Months of clean urines, drug free blood tests and trying to find a job and FINALLY getting one...
And he's back in jail with the threat of being sent upstate for seven and a half years...
Seven and a half years...
Seven and a half years...

He was doing so well, really he was, his life had taken that turn in the RIGHT direction...
And now this...

OMG, why have you forsaken me? him?
Just when things started to look up for him...

I counseled my son on what to say to the judge tomorrow morning.
Simply walk through the facts... inform him of your side of the incident at the halfway house...
When making your decision to remove me from Drug Court, please consider the entire picture and your experience with me and permit me to continue along the path to a good life.

Dear Lord, as you know I am not easily fooled and have been firm in my choices with my son and his drug addiction.  I believe him this time.  I witnessed a changed young man this time.  A man who was on his way to a happy and good life.  I am at your mercy and ask that your will be done, however, I pray that your will is one that sees my son get a chance to continue along the road he worked hard to build to recovery.  Please let the judge consider the entire picture and realize the negative impact sending him upstate will cause.  Please, in your mercy, continue to allow my son to toe the line and gain back his life.  We have suffered so much with this addiction.  Don't let us suffer another seven and a half years.  I pray for your mercy and love and for the strength to get through this.

<3 , M

Friday, December 13, 2013

What a Friday It's Been...

Started out the day with this...






What a beautiful morning sky!

Listened to a radio station that plays
Christmas music from Thanksgiving until
the day after Christmas!


Makes the horror of a commute SSSSOOOOOOOOO
much nicer and me in the Christmas Spirit!  
My favorite time of the year!

Then left work with some fellow colleagues and 
volunteered for 2 hours sorting clothes 
at Cradle to Crayons.







And writing this post as I am getting ready
to head home from the office!

How was your Friday?


Friday, November 29, 2013

Thanksgiving 2013

Okay, I am a day late in wishing you all
a Happy Thanksgiving!

As is my family tradition, since we stopped
going to mom's for the holidays and split up
the holidays amongst us, I now host the
Thanksgiving dinner for my family.

Who attends can vary from year to year but
my sister's family, my mom, my family are the
staples of the day...

My brothers usually come for dessert and
celebrate the dinner at their house.

My wish for you is that you were
surrounded by loved ones and 
enjoyed each others' company.

Give thanks to the Lord for he is good,
Let us rejoice and be glad.
Happy Thanksgiving All.

So for your viewing pleasure I've added a 
few images from my Thanksgiving celebration
and hope you enjoy them... 

To note, I used placemats on one table and a runner
on the other table that were purchased from an artisan
that was displaying their goods in our hotel while on
Maui.  I fell in love with the print and purchased the runner.
I'll go into their story on another post but wanted to 
inform you about the material... the fabric is from the
1950's and was created for, and used on, a cruise ship 
line that cruised from Los Angeles to Hawaiian Islands.
(LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this fabric).

I apologize ahead of time for my 'artsy' 
shots but I was trying to get a little creative.
Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Well Now... Happy Saturday You Say?

Ok, so at least the last few posts have been on the light side and happier.  So glad I had a few happy days to enjoy and share because you know what that means, right?  The pendulum swings the other way and to balance the happiness there's always some sadness, at least for me.

Andrew's counselor has wanted to meet up and have a family meeting for weeks but he's put her off by saying that I work full time and used my vacation up on my recent Hawaiian trip, which is true.  However, he asked if I could meet on a weekend as his counselor said she'd come in for a meeting.

He never told me about this before two weeks ago.  So I agreed and we set a time for last weekend on Saturday (because the previous posted about Christening was Sunday).  The counselor had to cancel that meeting so we rescheduled for today, 9am.

I left the alarm set last night since I had to get up and be at the half-way house by 9am.  

I drove over and arrived at exactly 9am.  Went up to the door and one of the workers came and opened the door. "Can I help you?"  "Yes, I am here for a meeting with Andrew and his counselor."  "Are you Andrew's mother?"  "Yes." "Ummm, Andrew is not here."  "Where is he?" "He's been (forget the exact word she used but something like) sequestered."  "Sequestered?  What does that mean?"  "He's in jail."  "What? Why?"  "Robin said you may stop by and asked me to tell you.  She said she tried calling you yesterday to cancel and let you know.  She left a voicemail."

I believe I've shared  this before, but unlike the Gen X's, Y's & Milleniums, I have a flip phone and use it to make calls while driving with Sync.  I rarely talk on the actual phone and most times, it's dead when I go to use it.  

"You can call on Monday when the day couselors are here.  They have permission to give you his PO's name and number.  Weekend workers don't have that permission to share with you."  "Great, thanks."  "Sorry to give you this bad news but Robin did try to reach you."

I went to the car and looked at my phone and sure enough, there was a voicemail waiting for me to listen to and it was Robin asking me to call her back.

Guess I will find out Monday what's going on.

I don't know how much I can take of this child's struggle with heroin and all the court actions that surround it.

I am sad.  I am down.  I am bummed and angry too.

Being the forever optimist that I am, I just know that there will be happier times ahead with the holidays coming up and my family to be with me.  It looks like I will spend another holiday season without my son Andrew as he sits in jail.  

I don't think I can go another Thanksgiving and Christmas trekking up to the prison.  

Heck, I don't even know if he'll be at the local county prison.  Why? you ask.  Because when he got out of his last stint from June to September, he promised the judge that if he gave him the chance to get out (you may recall I refused to let him come back home) and he screwed up, the judge could put him back in prison and he'd serve his full 7.5 years from the beginning at the upstate prison.

Now I wonder if he'll be upstate until he's 33 or 34 and when he's released if he'll immediately go to heroin, overdose and die.  OMG, I hate this situation and I have no control over it whatsoever, but my emotions are being torn upside down, inside out and every which way.

Here's hoping my next post is on the other side of the pendulum and it's a happy one...

Happy Saturday!

UPDATE: At least I have found out that the reason for incarceration was NOT drug related, instead it was a particular incident... what that incident is/was, I haven't a clue.  I have only been able to leave voicemails for his PO (he doesn't return phone calls so I have to keep calling.)  

Friday, November 22, 2013

Bringing the Inner Van Gogh in Me Out!

My sister-in-law and I went out on a Paint Nite this week!

We had a great time!  

I was impressed with my impressionist Van Gogh masterpiece...
Waddya think?




Ta Da!

Brayden's Christening

God bless Brayden.


Last week we celebrated his Christening.



He was perfect during the ceremony, 
Not a peep or tear.






After the church ceremony we 
gathered to celebrate.







I love this little guy so much.
May God continue to bless him
And hold him in the palm of His hand.