Another Life Lesson Begins Tomorrow

I consider myself a life-long learner, or student so to speak.  I like to learn new things.  Some of the things I have had the chance to learn are NOT what I would choose to learn, but rather the result of life's relentless sense of humor towards me.  

One of those lessons was how the county penal system works and all the BS and inefficiencies that can be found there.  Really, wtf? If they were any other business, they'd be fired or go out of business... but that's right, we're talking about the jails in America... there's not shortage of patrons to these facilities so it matters not just how good or bad they are... they are needed and are run horribly.

Well tomorrow, I get to learn a new thing... how the state system of correctional facilities operates... and boy, oh boy, am I super excited to learn... NOT!  But I want to visit my son, I missed seeing him before he was sent 'upstate' at the county facility because of the Carters,Edisons and Einsteins employed by them!

I have done research on various posts over the years on what I can expect.  Thank goodness others have shared this information for us 'newbies' to gather and prepare... if I went there blindly, I'd be so much more upset.  There's no information online that tells you the ins and outs of the process and what to expect.

Believe me, I hope to go with an open mind... at least my expectations are not set too high... Oh and his next stint at the next facility in a few months will be one heck of a joyride too! Can you hear the sarcasm in my typing?

More to come... or not!  Depends on how I do.  

Just a prayer for me to be able to overcome being too upset seeing him in his new environment... please.  Wish me luck.

Tootles Dahlings
~M

Dahlings... UPDATE... I received another letter from the cellie himself just in time to let me know that no visitors until after July 4th... he's sequestered for 30 days... so THIS life lesson isn't happening today... but maybe later in the summer when I can.

#prisonlife #crimedoesntpay #crime #criminal #drugskill #heroinekills #ihateheroin #prison #statecorrectionalfacility #pastatecorrectionalfacility #ilovemyson #shithappens

Heroin Kills Period... Continued

Wasn't she a beautiful person? 

Crystal was revived and placed on life support with the dimmest of prognosis.  Her chances of pulling through were slim.

10 days she remained on life support,
10 days of agonizing pain and sadness.
10 days of nightmares, reliving the odd circumstances that transpired that fateful evening.
10 days of visiting the CICU to talk aloud to her lifeless body, as the machine pumped oxygen into her lungs.
10 long, exhausting, sad days.

During this time, I found myself wondering if I was having a nightmare and would awaken.  Sooooo much transpired and sooo much was found out... I felt like I was living an episode of the Showtime series Shameless.

This world of drugs and addicts was so far away from the life I lead.

We found out from the hospital that Crystal had been to the same ER on the day before New Year's Eve.  Apparently she was having a hard time breathing after doing heroin and she came to the ER, where they administered Narcan and once she felt better and could breathe again, she signed herself out, to their dismay.  Her mother figured out that that day, December 30, was the day she got out of rehab...  so this poor young lady had been in rehab in December too, got out and used then too.

OMG, same pattern but this time, was different. How horrifying this was to me, I had no idea and to the best of my knowledge, based on her mother's, brother's and my son's reaction they did not know about that ER visit.

Let me back track a bit.... to when my son and I were in the CICU waiting room... we were there before her mother and brother arrived.  I never met them but my son had.  From what Crystal had told me, she did not get along with either of them.  Her mother was an alcoholic and brother was in trouble with the law, he had been arrested for having a portable meth lab in his car.

First thing the mother said to my son was, We don't blame you, so you can tell us the truth, were you using with her?  The only people to blame for this is her, her father and me.

One of the conversations I had in the waiting room with the brother was how he didn't understand why she did stuff until she passed out... he didn't like to get high and pass out, instead he like to get high and just chill.  He never partied with her but he knew she would get to the point where she passed out.

Another one of the conversations went along the lines of me saying that in the short time I knew her, I found her to be very caring, sweet and personable... to which her brother replied, that's because she didn't know you.. if she did, she'd be a real bitch and fight with you.

Mind you, these were some of the conversations we had while waiting to be able to go back and see her... I honestly thought I was on an episode of SHAMELESS with William H. Macy... her family life was so dysfuntional, no wonder this child had issues.

On the 10th day, her parents made the sad decision to remove her from life support and once the ventilator was removed, she passed on peacefully.

More to come in another post.

#IHateHeroin #WarOnDrugs #HeroinKills #HeroinKillsMoreThanTheAddict #HeroinRuinsLives

He's Going Upstate

Well, he's been terminated from Treatment Court and is headed upstate to do his time.

He's been through a lot lately, but he's got to take the consequences of his actions...

And he is.

Looks like I'll get an new education in the state system... Yipee! 

Experiment - Correlation Between the More You Post and the More You Get Visits Begins

I've been very bad about posting...

It seems like I posted alot at the beginning.
Towards the middle it waned.
Finally, I neglected it altogether.

I noticed that as my posts began to dwindle down, so too had my visits.

With the longer summer days, I would like to start to get back in the saddle and begin to post again.  So much has happened but I've not wanted to 'talk' about it because it's not pleasant, they type of thing I usually like to talk about.

I tend to withdrawl when my life starts going downhill.  And the last year, I've had some very significant downhill happenings where things quickly hit bottom.

Anyway, let's see if I can get back on the horse and begin posting again... and in the event that I do, I see more visitors to my page.

As noted in the 'headline' of my page, just everyday happenings, some interesting some not... you decide.

Heroin Kills Period

It's just about a week since my son rushed his girlfriend out of our home to the ER as she gasped for air every 10 seconds or so.

She's been on a ventilator and in a coma ever since.

It's so sad.

Guess I should start at the beginning, a very good place to start.  When you read you begin with A, B, C, when you sing you begin with Do, Re, Me...  oops... I digress.

Last Thursday morning around 2 AM I woke up.  Not sure exactly what it was that woke me up... I think it was some kind of noise, but I did get up out of bed and walk around to my bedroom door.  As I walked there, I noticed my son's bedroom door was opened and no light on... oh and the downstairs light was on too.  I figured he and his girlfriend must have been down in the living room watching TV... and it must have been loud... and THAT's what woke me up...

So I stood there for a minute to see if I could hear anything... and then I hear UD Police Department loudly said in a deep voice... so I walked to the top of the steps confused and once again,  in a loud deep voice... UD Police Department.  I walked to the landing and saw two police officers standing at the bottom of the steps saying UD Police.  Confused I said yes? What do you want? and they said Your son is at DC Memorial Hospital and gave us permission to search his room. Can you show us where his room is?

Still trying to wake up and make sense of what was going on, I said, Do I need to go to the hospital?  They said, 'No, your son is fine, it's his girlfriend and it doesn't look good.'  Doesn't look good??? what's that supposed to mean?  What happened? Do I need to go to the hospital?, still confused.

We knocked on the door, rang the doorbell and the door was opened so we came in.  Your son gave us permission to search his room, can you show us where it is?... sure, it's up here.

Long story short, my son woke up to his girlfriend gasping for air about every 10 seconds,  he picked her up and drove her to the ER... it's quicker than calling 911 for an ambulance... we're just about a mile away from the hospital.  When he arrived, he jumped out of the car to get a wheel chair and by the time he got back to the car, she had stopped breathing.  He went back into the ER and yelled she's not breathing now, help!

She was down for at least 15 minutes before they could resuscitate her.  Long time to be down...

What makes this even sadder is that she just got out of 40 days of rehab that morning... 40 days of clean and sober... 40 days... and she used... and overdosed... and will likely die.

I have to stop writing right now... more to come when I can continue....

#IHateHeroin #WarOnDrugs #HeroinKills #HeroinKillsMoreThanTheAddict #HeroinRuinsLives

Sad Day Today...

Even before my previous post of heroin's invasion of my home again, today was a sad day for my family.

My 2nd daughter was spotting and went for an ultrasound... the baby had no heartbeat.

It broke my heart to hear this news... we were all so excited and now so sad.  And then heroin had to rear its ugly, demonic head... again.

Stop the world, I want to jump off!

The Demon Has Invaded My Home... Again!

Anyone that has followed me knows a couple of things about me...
I Hate Heroin
I have a son who's addicted to heroin
I have a son who's been in trouble with the law because of heroin
I have a son who's relapsed more times than I care to count
I have a son whom I am not able to help any longer

Heroin ruins lives.
Lives of addicts.
Lives of addicts' families,
Lives of addicts' friends,
Lives of anyone who gives a shit about an addict,
Heroin ruins lives.

My son had been doing pretty well lately,
but I always know that this demon will be back...
Imagine Arnold saying, I'll be back!
That's this demon... always comes back!

And I HATE it!
I HATE IT!
I HATE HEROIN!

Dear God, in your infinite wisdom, please help me, watch over my son and rid our lives of this demon known as heroin!  I feel so helpless, useless and beaten up... I am spent... again.  Amen.

#ihateheroin #heroinkills #heroinsucks #demonheroin #monsterheroin #GodHelpHeroinAddicts #heroinaddicts