To Honor Those Who Sacrificed for Us

While lighting up that grill,

or chillaxing on that hammock,

never forget the brave men & women,

who gave their lives in service.

In honor of them and their service,

Have a safe and Happy 

Memorial Day!

It's my day, it's my day, it's my BIRTHday!

Well, here it is, my birthday.  Another year older and another year wiser. 

I'm sorta outta whack this year.  You see, something happened this week that has me shaken to the core.  Something that makes me wish it never had happened.  Something that I fear.  Something that has my heart aching; for my cousin, her husband and her two daughters.

You see, my cousin has a son named Ryan, who's the youngest in his family. He's 27.  I have another cousin who has a son named Nick, who's the youngest in his family.  He's 24.  I have a son who's the youngest in the family named Andrew.  He's 24.

My two cousins and I have always loved each other but something happened with each of our youngest children that built a strange, strong bond between us.  Each of us have had to deal with their addiction for at least the past 5 years.  Trouble with the law, overdoses, prison terms, rehabs, you name it, we've been through the wringer.

But something happened this week that has hit me in my gut.  My cousin's son named Ryan, on Tuesday, could no longer live with the pain and suffering of his addiction and depression, and this handsome, young gentleman decided to end his life by hanging himself.  His family was on their way to his outpatient facility for an emergency family meeting THEY called.  Withholding his methadone to keep him there until the family could leave work and get there, unbeknownst to him.

15 minutes before the family arrived, they gave him his methadone and Ryan left for the bus stop.  The family arrived at 11:05am, just 5 minutes late to find that they gave Ryan his meth and Ryan left for the bus stop.  Frantically his father and sister drove up and down the surrounding streets to see if they could find him.

After no success, they went back to the rehab and picked up my cousin who remained in case Ryan returned there.  They went home, only to open the garage and find this handsome, young, tortured man hanging.

I am heartbroken.  I fear that one day, I too will have this happen either by my son's choice because of the torment of drugs or by accidental overdose should he return to drugs.  Andrew's hospital visit last month where we feared for his life due to diabetic complications really shaked my entire spirit.  Going to the hospital to be with my cousin to support her as Ryan lie on life support, brain dead hit a raw nerve.  This tormented soul honestly believed his family hated him or at least told them he didn't feel like he was loved.  Oh my, the true fact is, Ryan was surrounded by a family that loved him and did everything in their power to help him beat this addiction.  They left no stone unturned.

Similar stories my two cousins and I have. 

Yes, it's my day, it's my day, it's my BIRTHday.  This year, as I blow out my candles instead of wishing, I think I will pray that the endings are all not the same.  I will pray that Ryan is now resting in peace, far removed from the struggles and torment he lived with day in and day out battling his depression and addiction.  I will pray that my cousin's and her family's wounds heal. I will pray that Andrew can remain strong and overcome his addiction.

Ryan made the decision to donate his organs.  This young man saved his parents that decision.  His choice to do so only goes to show he did have a huge heart and wanted to help others in the event of his death. 

I cannot write anymore now... I am spent.

What a good weekend all around...

Not only did I get a chance to have Dylan sleep overnight on Saturday night, we have reason to celebrate... he's crawling now... and boy oh boy is my daughter in for a surprise now that the little man is mobile!

It's actually amazing to watch as he progresses along... I am in heaven, it brings such joy to my heart to watch him learn and progress.

And Sunday saw me thoroughly enjoy one of my favorite activities... NO SILLY, NOT SHOPPING, I DO OTHER THINGS YA'KNOW! planting my flower garden.  Weather was cloudy, actually overcast with no sunny breaks but that is the PERFECT weather to be outside playing in the dirt planting... when it's a beautiful day, sun shining brightly, I find myself sweating even more than I did yesterday.

Here's a bit of the front... I am not finished yet, still have the baskets, driveway containers and back yard but I got the front garden planted.... enjoy!

Oh what a wonderful weekend I could enjoy in its entirety.  It's been a while since I've had the chance to be able to enjoy the entire weekend since I've been a little under the weather or at a hospital bedside... I feel very fortunate to be able to say, I started my work week out on such a positive feeling...

Now, here's to the work week not bringing me down and this wonderful weekend high carrying me to next weekend, which BTW will be a three day holiday weekend where I am taking my nephews (Joey the Confirmant and his little side kick, my Godson, Danny) to Six Flags for a day of F-U-N and I hope just a little S-U-N and no R-A-I-N!  I can feel the little kid in me already getting excited to go play for the day with the boys!

I hope you too had a good weekend and a good work week ahead to you!

What's the first thing you think of when you hear...

Shingles?

Yeah, me too, until this week...

Now the first thing I think of 

when I hear Shingles is

Why? Aw come on dear readers,

it's obvious that I have a case of

the latter and boy oh boy do they

ever hurt!

I thought people who had shingles

got them in there 60's.  Not so.  

Shingles, it seems, can be brought on

by a weakened immune system or, 

wait for it.... 

STRESS!@#!@#!@#!E#!@#

Geez, if the past few weeks haven't

been hard enough, now my body

is causing me havoc.

This is painful.  It's also a bit

embarrassing as to which nerve

the virus decided to remain dormant

on all those years and come to life now...

Dr. said L5 nerve... any ideas on its

manifestation location with that?

See, if I can't come up with something 

cute or funny to write about, something 

always happens and gives me a chance 

to report.  Just wish the report wasn't

autobiographical  :)

Ouch, crap, this stuff hurts.

For now, 

The End... 

no pun intended ;)

close to a milestone...

...at least for little, measily ole me...

I am closing in on 5000 views of this
small, humble blog... who would have
thunk it?

I'll see if I can get something to post
about over the weekend as I try
to relax...

Til then, come on 5000 viewer!

Sometimes ya just want the world to stop...

and jump off, feet first, into the black hole 

and not care where it will take you.

I am like a saturated sponge under 

Niagara Falls, getting dumped on.

My cup overflows with things of 

which I have no control.

When $hit hits the fan at work

and home is calm, I can pop up for air.

When $hit hits the fan at home

and work is calm, I can pop up for air.

When $hit hits the fan at home AND 

work, I become like a saturated sponge.

I am a saturated sponge, stop the world,

I want to jump off, feet first into the 

black hole.

I guess I'll have to 

pick myself up,

dust myself off,

and start all over 

AGAIN!

Just doing a test....

to see what this geotagging tool looks like...

Ready?

Set.

GO!

Happy Mother's Day 2011

I am looking forward to celebrating my

first Mother's Day as a grandmother and 

my daughter's first Mother's Day as a mom 

(yeah, I know, she was preggers last year

but this is the first time she's actually celebrating

the job of motherhood, so I consider this her

First Mother's Day!)

As well, I am looking forward to celebrating my

Mother again this year.  I feel very fortunate to

have her in my life.  Not only is she my mother, 

she's so much more... best friend, confidant,

cheerleader, sounding board, shopping buddy,

let's forget the inside house work on such a nice

day, let's go out instead' friend.

I love my mother so much and hope I show her

everyday, not just this Hallmark holiday.  

My goal at the end of my life is to be able to say,

I have been half as good as my mother was, in all 

she does.  If I can say that, I have done an 

outstanding job as a mother.

Happy Mother' Day to all my 'mom' friends and to

all of the rest who are just 'mothers' hehehehe.